Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
