Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
