There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
