I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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