It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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