So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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