Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
