i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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