I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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