There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
