So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
