Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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