Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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