you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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