i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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