There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
