The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
