my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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