i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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