I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
