Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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