I think I won the penis lottery.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Randomize
