So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
