Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
