Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I have post one night stand depression
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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