she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
