My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
