I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
