i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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