did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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