Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
