My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
