I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
