I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
