Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
