I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
