I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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