Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
