my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
