Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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