why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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