I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
