sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
