Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
