I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Sober January is a disaster.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
