she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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