I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
