4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
