idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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