You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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